Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
How I Recovered
From Burnout: 12 Keys To Finding Your New Normal
By Carey
| May 15, 2017
I had never been
through anything quite as deep, or frankly, personally frightening as my
burnout in 2006.
Burnout moves
fatigue and the darkness from a place where it was in your control to place
where you can simply no longer control either.
I regularly hear
from leaders who have let me know that they’re in the midst burnout
right now.
It’s like burnout,
fatigue and overwhelm have become epidemics in life and leadership.
If you’re
struggling with it, all I can say is I understand, and I’m pulling for you and
praying for you.
I told part of my
story in this post along
with sharing 11 signs you
might be burning out.
To diagnose burnout
is one thing. But how you recover from it?
Let me share my
journey. While everyone’s recovery will be different, there were 12 keys that,
in retrospect, were essential to my recovery.
Not
an Instant Cure
And as far as time
goes, for me there was no instant cure. It took about:
6 months for me to
move from ‘crisis’ (20% of normal) to operational (maybe 60%)
Another year to get
from 60% to 80% of ‘normal’.
Another three or
four years to finally feel 100% again – like myself. Even a new self.
In the process, I
completely restructured my patterns and rhythms so I could develop a new
normal. Why? Because to recover from burnout and overwhelm, you need better
patterns, not just a better attitude.
I’ve been asked so
many times what those patterns are, I share them in an online course I offer
called The High Impact Leader.
I’ll tell you more about that at the end of this post.
12
Keys To Getting Back from Burnout
Along the way,
these 12 things helped me immensely. And while your story might be different, I
offer them in the hope they might help you even in some small way:
1.
Tell someone
2.
Get help
3.
Lean into your friends
4.
Keep leaning into God
5.
Rest
6.
Find something else to take your attention away from your pain
7.
Do what you can
8.
Don’t do anything drastic or stupid
9.
Trust again
10.
Closely monitor balance
11.
Watch for the warning signs
12.
Take full responsibility for the health of your soul
Nobody else is
responsible for your health. You are. Pray, read your Bible, seek
life-giving friendships, replenish your energy, eat right, work out, love
deeply.
These things
nourish your soul. If you don’t do them, nobody will.
Finding
Your New Normal (And My Accidental Discovery)
It took me almost 5
years to get back to normal…but I realized early on that normal wasn’t going to
do it this time. This time, I needed a new normal.
Here’s why: getting
back to normal will get you into the same burnout it took you in the first
place.
For years now, I’ve
worked hard to establish new rhythms and patterns that could sustain my life.
In the process, I
accidentally discovered something.
These new habits,
rhythms and patterns didn’t just keep me out of burnout, they made me far more
productive and effective.
I had spent my
thirties wanting to write a book. Since coming back from burnout, I’ve written
three and am working on a fourth.
I also started speaking
to leaders, writing this blog and hosting a weekly
leadership podcast all the while holding down a full time job AND
having more family and recreation time.
The #1 question I
get asked post-burnout is “How do you get everything done?”
I finally decided
to summarize the principles and strategies in an online course called The High Impact Leader.
A
Better Normal For You
It was a long road
back for me personally, and I had to keep believing that God wasn’t done with
me. 11 years later I’m so thankful. Our church has never been healthier or more
effective.
I am enjoying what
I’m doing more than ever. And the opportunities before me have never been
greater.
How much of that
could I see or imagine 11 years ago? Exactly 0%. But I had to not give up
despite that. In those moments and days where I still don’t feel good, I cling
to the hope that the sun will rise again. And it does.
So that’s my story.
I’m praying for you
today and I hope that in some small way this helps those of you who are
defeated, discouraged or believe it’s over.
It’s not. Our God
still lives. And He loves you.
Monday, May 15, 2017
11 Signs You’re More Than Just Tired…You’re Burning Out
Ever wonder if you’re burning out? I know a lot of leaders and people who wonder that.
There’s a fine line between being tired and actually burning out.
The challenge is, once you cross the line, it’s so difficult to get back.
Eleven years ago, I entered into the darkest period of my life. People had always warned me I would burn out. I thought I could prove them wrong. And usually I did. I would get tired – out of balance – but when I saw the edge, I could always pull myself back.
That approach worked just fine until the summer of 2006, when it didn’t.
In that fateful summer eleven years ago, I found the edge, and as I was falling, I knew this time I realized I couldn’t pull myself back.
Although I’m not a person who suffers from depression, I’m sure I would have gone to the doctor and received a diagnosis of clinical depression that summer when I fell off the edge.
Perhaps it wasn’t a stereotypical depression.
What terrified me is that I knew many in ministry and life had gone down this road before me and some of them never made it back.
For them, ministry was done. And sometimes, tragically, they were done – hope never fully returned and they didn’t ever become the person they were before.
That was the last thing I wanted to happen to me.
Looking back, the diagnosis is still a little elusive and mysterious.
Who really knows what corrodes the soul to the point where it deflates?
But I’d say the most likely candidate for what derailed me is what I’d call emotional burnout.
In caring for others I had not adequately cared for my heart or soul, or let others who wanted to care for it do so.
I spiralled down for about 3 months before I hit bottom.
Then with the love and assistance of a great wife, board, leadership team, close friends, a counselor, and a very gracious God, I slowly began to recover.
It took, honestly, a few years to really feel full stride again, but I recovered to 80-90% of full strength in the first year. The last 10% took two or three more years.
The good new is, there is life after burnout (my next post will be on ways to recover from burnout).
I’m writing this because burnout seems to be an epidemic among leaders and, increasingly, among people in general.
Maybe you’re right on the edge of the cliff right now. Or maybe you’re in free fall.
So how do you know if you’re more than just tired? How do you know if you’re burning out?
Here are 11 things I personally experienced as I burned out.
I hope they can help you see the edge before you careen past it.
3. Little things make you disproportionately angry
4. Everybody drains you
5. You’re becoming cynical
6. Nothing satisfies you
7. You Can’t Think Straight
8. Your productivity is dropping
9. You’re self-medicating
10. You don’t laugh anymore
11. Sleep and time off no longer refuel you
Long Term Health Is About Sustainable Patterns
Eleven years on the other side of burnout, I’ve never felt better. All eleven signs are gone and have been gone for years.
Do I have bad days? Of course, but they’re days, not life. I’m so thankful!
On the other side of burnout, I developed new rhythms, patterns and approaches to life and leadership that have helped me thrive. They actually helped my productivity soar while working fewer hours. And they’ve given me a new passion for life and leadership.
So Are You More Than Just Tired?
So how do you know if you’re burning out?
Identifying with just a few of these signs might just be a sign that you’re tired.
If you identify with half, you might be close to the edge.
If you identify with most or all, well, you might be in the same place I found myself—burnout.
If you are burnt out, I would encourage you to seek immediate professional help – a medical doctor and a trained Christian counselor. I would also encourage you to talk to a close circle of friends (again, my next post will be on recovery from burnout).
Ever wonder if you’re burning out? I know a lot of leaders and people who wonder that.
There’s a fine line between being tired and actually burning out.
The challenge is, once you cross the line, it’s so difficult to get back.
Eleven years ago, I entered into the darkest period of my life. People had always warned me I would burn out. I thought I could prove them wrong. And usually I did. I would get tired – out of balance – but when I saw the edge, I could always pull myself back.
That approach worked just fine until the summer of 2006, when it didn’t.
In that fateful summer eleven years ago, I found the edge, and as I was falling, I knew this time I realized I couldn’t pull myself back.
Although I’m not a person who suffers from depression, I’m sure I would have gone to the doctor and received a diagnosis of clinical depression that summer when I fell off the edge.
Perhaps it wasn’t a stereotypical depression.
I could get out of bed every day, and I did.
As a Christian, I kept praying and reading my bible. I never lost my faith (I just couldn’t feel it).
People who weren’t that close to me didn’t realize it was happening.
But I knew something inside me had broken, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
My speed decreased to a snail’s pace.
Hope felt like it had died.
My motivation and passion dropped to zero. (Make that zero Kelvin).
Like most people who experience burnout, it felt like a strange land. I had been tired before, but I had never truly been burned out. It was so disorienting I didn’t know what to do.What terrified me is that I knew many in ministry and life had gone down this road before me and some of them never made it back.
For them, ministry was done. And sometimes, tragically, they were done – hope never fully returned and they didn’t ever become the person they were before.
That was the last thing I wanted to happen to me.
Looking back, the diagnosis is still a little elusive and mysterious.
Who really knows what corrodes the soul to the point where it deflates?
In caring for others I had not adequately cared for my heart or soul, or let others who wanted to care for it do so.
I spiralled down for about 3 months before I hit bottom.
Then with the love and assistance of a great wife, board, leadership team, close friends, a counselor, and a very gracious God, I slowly began to recover.
It took, honestly, a few years to really feel full stride again, but I recovered to 80-90% of full strength in the first year. The last 10% took two or three more years.
The good new is, there is life after burnout (my next post will be on ways to recover from burnout).
I’m writing this because burnout seems to be an epidemic among leaders and, increasingly, among people in general.
Maybe you’re right on the edge of the cliff right now. Or maybe you’re in free fall.
So how do you know if you’re more than just tired? How do you know if you’re burning out?
Here are 11 things I personally experienced as I burned out.
I hope they can help you see the edge before you careen past it.
1. Your passion fades
2. Your main emotion is ‘numbness’ – you no longer feel the highs or the lows
3. Little things make you disproportionately angry
4. Everybody drains you
5. You’re becoming cynical
6. Nothing satisfies you
7. You Can’t Think Straight
8. Your productivity is dropping
9. You’re self-medicating
10. You don’t laugh anymore
11. Sleep and time off no longer refuel you
Long Term Health Is About Sustainable Patterns
Eleven years on the other side of burnout, I’ve never felt better. All eleven signs are gone and have been gone for years.
Do I have bad days? Of course, but they’re days, not life. I’m so thankful!
On the other side of burnout, I developed new rhythms, patterns and approaches to life and leadership that have helped me thrive. They actually helped my productivity soar while working fewer hours. And they’ve given me a new passion for life and leadership.
So Are You More Than Just Tired?
So how do you know if you’re burning out?
Identifying with just a few of these signs might just be a sign that you’re tired.
If you identify with half, you might be close to the edge.
If you identify with most or all, well, you might be in the same place I found myself—burnout.
If you are burnt out, I would encourage you to seek immediate professional help – a medical doctor and a trained Christian counselor. I would also encourage you to talk to a close circle of friends (again, my next post will be on recovery from burnout).
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